Tag Archives: how to

10 Ways to Entertain Yourself at Jury Duty

by Useless Lists • Tags: , , ,

I am currently sitting in the Santa Monica Courthouse Juror Waiting Room.

It sucks.

Sure, they have free wifi, but all of the best websites are blocked. No YouTube, no Facebook, no Twitter, no Stumbleupon. If it’s fun, it’s probably blocked.

But not to worry. If you ever find yourself in this situation, here’s a handy list of things you can do to entertain yourself.

  1. Make up a back story for the strangest looking jurors in your pool. Juror waiting rooms are by definition filled with extreme eclectic groups of people. Do some people watching and figure out who’s a teacher, who’s a bank robber, who still lives with their mom, and who’s most likely to claim insanity as a reason they can’t serve on a jury.
  2. Try to find a porn site that hasn’t been blocked by the courthouse firewalls. Consider it a challenge and put your years of non-SafeSearch Googling to work. Continue reading →

Amazing Ways to Piss People Off

by Stuff that Made Me Laugh, Useless Lists • Tags: , , , , ,

This list from ArtLung.com amused me. Please don’t try these things on me, but definitely try them on other people. I italicized my favorites:

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.” Continue reading →