These Facebook interactions had me laughing out loud. Hope you enjoy them, too. Some excellent examples of why you shouldn’t “friend” certain people on Facebook.
Laugh: Don’t laugh at me! / Your comment was funny / I wasn’t joking. My wife really left me for the mailman / I know, & we prefer postal carrier.
Mission: Target: Unknown? /Yes. The mission is Life /It’s supposed 2 be a hit /This is better /Ur the target, aren’t u / ..Give me a 10min head start
Sun: Ann loathed Valentine’s Day w/ an abiding hatred more intense than the fire of 1000 suns. Then she got a BF & it became her favorite holiday
Neighbor: Ali finally felt at home in her new neighborhood. Everyone was so warm & inviting. Plus the proliferation of juicy gossip never disappointed Continue reading
Wind: There’s 2ft of snow on the ground, and I still have to go to school / Ah, man. My school closed because it’s windy / …F*ck you.
Addiction: She had 3 therapists, one for each addiction: smoking, food & mean men. Amazingly, none of the 3 ever brought up her addiction to therapy.
Data: The Co was monitoring their 300M users, but the data didn’t correlate. It was as if each user had their own mind. That premise was rejected
Pill: Take this pill and you’ll be thinner and less inhibited in no time! / What is it? / It’s a psychotic / You mean an anti-psychotic… / No. Continue reading
Power: She stomped on the gas, felt the power surge beneath her feet. Unfortunately the car was a Kia. She’d had cups of coffee w/ more get-up-&-go
Library: 20yrs he worked in the library, shuffling around, shushing noisy kids. The day his father died, he stood on a table & screamed. He was fired
Dragon: The knights finally understood why the dragon waited eternally in her keep, killing anyone who approached… Her date was 300 years late.
Hate: What seems to be troubling you? Be specific / I hate everyone / More specific, please / Alright, I hate you / … Me, too. Continue reading
Who else really misses the days when Facebook was only open to college students? Those were the good old days: when you could post drunken pictures without even thinking about it… when your acceptance to grad school didn’t hinge on the shit your friend’s posted on your wall… when your parents had no idea what was up.
Now people tend to go one of two routes 1) they’re Facebook friends with everyone they’ve ever met or 2) they’re not on Facebook at all.
I’ve found a middle ground between these two – I routinely go through my friends list and clean out people I don’t care about/have stopped caring about/have completely forgotten. Sometimes I worry about people noticing, but then I remember that the people I’m clearing out are people that I don’t give a flying fuck about.
Then I feel better. Continue reading
Came across this post and thought it was pretty amazing. Be sure to read the friend’s comments on his transformed photos.
Communication: A great divide separated them. They couldn’t communicate, couldn’t reach each other. No, that sinkhole wasn’t helping matters one bit.
Fee: Your fees are highway robbery! / But we’re a bank.. / Then it’s bank robbery! / Are you threatening to rob the bank, sir? / No, I… (tazor)
Instrument: You’ve been instrumental to my success. Like my violin. Actually, I haven’t been that successful, so you’re more like my oboe. Or a cowbell.
Heart: Her heart beat rapidly. This is it. He’s proposing. Her heart felt like it would burst from her chest… It was a heart attack. She died.
Joy: It was moments like this — moments of pure joy — that he had trouble remembering his own name. Unfortunately, he forgot her name, too.
Cliff: If your friends jumped off a cliff would you follow? / Did they survive the fall? / Um, I guess so– / Did it look like fun? / …Never mind
Panda: You can have anything you want. / Anything? / Yes. / ANYthing?? / *sigh* … Anything but a panda. / Then I want– / Or a shark. / … Damn. Continue reading