Maybe it seems a bit mean, and maybe it will be awkward if you ever do see them again in real life, but it has to be done. Unfriend these people who suck at Facebook (from The Oatmeal).
Tag Archives: Facebook
Photos: Classic Facebook Posts
These Facebook interactions had me laughing out loud. Hope you enjoy them, too. Some excellent examples of why you shouldn’t “friend” certain people on Facebook.
Mini Stories from February 2012
For more of these, check out @angelasstories or my Facebook page.
Laugh: Don’t laugh at me! / Your comment was funny / I wasn’t joking. My wife really left me for the mailman / I know, & we prefer postal carrier.
Mission: Target: Unknown? /Yes. The mission is Life /It’s supposed 2 be a hit /This is better /Ur the target, aren’t u / ..Give me a 10min head start
Sun: Ann loathed Valentine’s Day w/ an abiding hatred more intense than the fire of 1000 suns. Then she got a BF & it became her favorite holiday
Neighbor: Ali finally felt at home in her new neighborhood. Everyone was so warm & inviting. Plus the proliferation of juicy gossip never disappointed Continue reading
Get Real
These photos give some excellent examples of how our expectations play out against reality. Cynical, but true.
Mini Stories from December 2011
For more of these, check out @angelasstories or my Facebook page.
Wind: There’s 2ft of snow on the ground, and I still have to go to school / Ah, man. My school closed because it’s windy / …F*ck you.
Addiction: She had 3 therapists, one for each addiction: smoking, food & mean men. Amazingly, none of the 3 ever brought up her addiction to therapy.
Data: The Co was monitoring their 300M users, but the data didn’t correlate. It was as if each user had their own mind. That premise was rejected
Pill: Take this pill and you’ll be thinner and less inhibited in no time! / What is it? / It’s a psychotic / You mean an anti-psychotic… / No. Continue reading
Mini Stories from November 2011
For more of these, check out @angelasstories or my Facebook page.
Power: She stomped on the gas, felt the power surge beneath her feet. Unfortunately the car was a Kia. She’d had cups of coffee w/ more get-up-&-go
Library: 20yrs he worked in the library, shuffling around, shushing noisy kids. The day his father died, he stood on a table & screamed. He was fired
Dragon: The knights finally understood why the dragon waited eternally in her keep, killing anyone who approached… Her date was 300 years late.
Hate: What seems to be troubling you? Be specific / I hate everyone / More specific, please / Alright, I hate you / … Me, too. Continue reading
9 People You Need to Unfriend Right Now
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Who else really misses the days when Facebook was only open to college students? Those were the good old days: when you could post drunken pictures without even thinking about it… when your acceptance to grad school didn’t hinge on the shit your friend’s posted on your wall… when your parents had no idea what was up.
Ah, memories.
Now people tend to go one of two routes 1) they’re Facebook friends with everyone they’ve ever met or 2) they’re not on Facebook at all.
I’ve found a middle ground between these two – I routinely go through my friends list and clean out people I don’t care about/have stopped caring about/have completely forgotten. Sometimes I worry about people noticing, but then I remember that the people I’m clearing out are people that I don’t give a flying fuck about.
Then I feel better. Continue reading
Pissing Off Friends with Photoshop
Came across this post and thought it was pretty amazing. Be sure to read the friend’s comments on his transformed photos.
Mini Stories from October 2011
For more of these, check out @piratestories or my Facebook page.
Communication: A great divide separated them. They couldn’t communicate, couldn’t reach each other. No, that sinkhole wasn’t helping matters one bit.
Fee: Your fees are highway robbery! / But we’re a bank.. / Then it’s bank robbery! / Are you threatening to rob the bank, sir? / No, I… (tazor)
Instrument: You’ve been instrumental to my success. Like my violin. Actually, I haven’t been that successful, so you’re more like my oboe. Or a cowbell.
Heart: Her heart beat rapidly. This is it. He’s proposing. Her heart felt like it would burst from her chest… It was a heart attack. She died.
Joy: It was moments like this — moments of pure joy — that he had trouble remembering his own name. Unfortunately, he forgot her name, too.
Cliff: If your friends jumped off a cliff would you follow? / Did they survive the fall? / Um, I guess so– / Did it look like fun? / …Never mind
Panda: You can have anything you want. / Anything? / Yes. / ANYthing?? / *sigh* … Anything but a panda. / Then I want– / Or a shark. / … Damn. Continue reading
Mini Stories from the Second Half of April 2011
Check: On their first date, he brought her a rose. She brought his background check. And thus he remembered why he hates dating.
Solution: The solution to her pain was so simple. Never fall in love again! Her hangover the next morning (and the man in her bed) muddied her resolve
Depression: Doug’s solitaire skills were beyond compare. He was basically a pro. It was the most depressing realization he’d ever had.
Wave: First she felt a wave of relief, then a wave of resentment, then anger. That’s when she decided to get out of the wave pool. Continue reading
