I’m currently on OkCupid, looking for someone remotely interesting to go on a date with. So far I’ve been on one date with a nice guy who didn’t really do it for me. At the end of the date he said he’d call and he never did.

Rejected by someone I wasn’t even interested in… that’s always fun.

While my OkC experience hasn’t exactly been productive in terms of dates, I have been receiving some very entertaining messages through their system. Here are a few of my favorites.

(I haven’t edited these in any way. These are actual messages that I’ve received.)

So far, the messages have been overly confident…

I’m totes jealous of the freelance life (I miss being a self-employed DJ sometimes) but having dental insurance is a consolidation prize

~

and here i am that somebody…..hey cool girl i hope my pictures do me justice in portraying my coolness i ooze coolness from every pore LOL hey if your cool enough then maybe just maybe ill let YOU take ME out on a date LOL (that was a joke in case u missed it or sensitive to sarcasm part of my persona) so if u like what u read and see then u know what to do!!

Bold…

My friends think I move too fast. Will you marry me? Oopsie! I meant to say Hi Angela

~

Hey! does this smell like chloroform to you?

Oddly creepy yet cute at the same time…

I am slowly falling under the impression that you and I would probably make beautiful babies. Here’s the deal though, if it’s a girl you can name her but if it’s a boy I get to name him.

I would also like to complete our family by buying a pet penguin and of course we shall live in a castle with only the finest of stallions! I think that would be awesome.

Just an idea….get back to me and let me know what you think.

Forever yours

Blake

P.s. In all seriousness I just think you’re really cute and wanted to catch your attention : )

A little scary…

Hi there [from someone with the username Godisadeathsquad]

Pathetic…

Hello, My name is Crow. At the moment I am incredibly bored, so I decided to search through random people on the site I stumbled on your page. You seamed interesting so now I am sending you this message in hopes to make a new friend. If you decided to e-mail me back… Sweet! If not, well I wouldn’t blame yha. I can easily see how my random e-mail going into to graphic detail on why I am sending this or even my profile photo being a mandrill could be confusing and taken with a creepy tone. Either way I am intrigued to see how this all ends up… So how you doing?

And adorable…

I think I may like you.

~

You have perhaps the prettiest eyes I have ever seen! There is a lot of soul, spirit and enthusiasm in your eyes. Ok fine your lips are right up there too. The joy shown in your smile is so very infectious. Well take care and remember to keep smiling. You never know who is falling in love with you from across the room

That last guy lived in Georgia. I guess there’s still some hope. It’s just out of state…