No matter how terribly they are driving, you can’t honk at old people. You just can’t.

All women are more emotional around their periods. But that doesn’t mean their emotions aren’t valid.

Moderation is key in virtually every aspect of life.

Except for hugs. You can never get too many hugs from the people you love.

Getting hit on is an ego boost. Getting hit on repeatedly after making your disinterest clear can be terrifying.

If you’ve never been moved by the beauty of the natural world, you’ve never really looked.

Everyone has a story to tell.

Very few people have a joke to share. At least not any good ones.

Comediennes who only tell jokes about periods and menopause are a waste of space.

Pretty people do better in life than the rest of us. So do charming people. Pretty AND charming people rule the world.

If Trump is elected president, our country will die. And I’ll move to New Zealand.

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. Sometimes it just fucks up your back.

Racist people almost never consider themselves racist.

As Avenue Q puts it, everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes.

Reaching for your goals is always worth a shot. Unless your goal is to be a ventriloquist.

Jon Stewart is brilliant. But he would be a terrible politician.

(Any suggestions for my next truth time? Send me an email – arguess@gmail.com)